The Enemy

I liked this poem, because the word usage of "It" kept me interested and intrigued. An intense piece which had me interested from start to finish. I liked the word choice some were simple and effective others not so simple and effective. You blended them nicely together. A great poem. I loved it ~mel

I don't read a lot of dark poems but this is well written and I think I have been on both sides! GOOD JOB

Hey girly, I am from CC&P, but I haven't been on for a few months, so I thought I could come and check on some of the newbie's poetry. Don't be offended by newbie, it just means you have a fresh slate here. I found this poem rather interesting. I have a guess what the "It" is, but maybe you might want to clarify that for your readers, even if it is just with a footnote. The situation you are describing is one I have been though more times than are possible to count, and it is not easy. Just don't give up on them, no matter what, there is always a chance for them to turn their life around, and it is always easier to when they have someone who believes in them. Sometimes, that's all they need. So keep trying and being the great friend that it sounds like you are.

~miko~

I see how it consume you.
^ should be "consumes".

i see death creeping foreward
^ i think it's spelled "forward"

will stop at nothing to taste you're flesh
^ should be "your" not "you're"

which IT claims to releive
^ i think it should be spelt "relieve", not sure thoughh.

Ooh, wow this was very dark but i like it. I have a real thing for dark poems haha. Maybe i'm evil at heartt. So anywayss, i like the descriptions you used they were full of imagery and brought the poem to life. The flow was good and I also liked how you called it IT , this made it much more suspenseful and made us pay more attention to your words i think. Nicely done love. 5/5

Nicely Penned.
It flowed well, and I love how your left mystery in it.. Seeing as we do not know what 'IT' is.

A good read:)
keep it up
--Elly.