Comments : I Want You To Be The One

  • 17 years ago

    by Karen Urate

    Loooove full of hope. :) i feel it.

  • 17 years ago

    by Teria

    This is a great poem, darling.
    It needs a few changes, but overall it's a great poem.
    It has great emotion, flow, word choice, and everything it needs.
    But, maybe a little editing would have done the job with the neatness and punctuation.

    So many years,
    so much pain,
    so many tears,
    that pour down like rain.

    I have so much love to give,
    and I can only wonder
    who will be willing
    to recieve it.

    Will you wrap me up tight?
    Your arms are so strong and warm
    Will you hold me through the night,
    through every hateful storm?

    Will you love me,
    will you be the one,
    will you be able to see,
    that I'm so scared you'll run?

    I don't want you to leave,
    I want you to stay.
    I want to believe
    that love will find a way.

    I know you're out there
    and that I'll find you someday.
    Hope burns inside me
    as I await that day.

    Don't let me down,
    I've been hurt enough.
    I want you to be the one,
    to show me true love...
    - - - - -
    Always remember to capitalize your I's when you mean yourself.
    And, that the do not=don't . .. remember the apostrophe.

    Other than those tiny little things you did a wonderful job.
    Honestly, it's an amazing poem.
    It has great, amazing, outstanding emotion and flow. (: