You criticize me for my weaknesses. I lack the work ethic and motivation that you require. You say that your sister is your hero. Many of my insecurities, I recognize in her too. But I wasn't worth having a future with anymore; nor do you see an inspiration in me? I realize that it is a lot harder to cut-off blood ties than to sacrifice the love of a woman. I love everything about you that was different from me. You brought to my life new interests, hopes, and dreams. I thought that I brought a sense of renewal to your life as well. I'm sure that your sister did and does this for you too.
You support your sister through her struggles. You support her through her insecurities about her future. You used to support me too. You were one of my strongest support systems. I supported you whole-heartedly in your endeavors. When I was worried about my life, you told me to leave my worries to God.That He would take my sorrows away. My question is what do you tell your sister when she is struggling with school, a future profession, or life in general? Do you tell her the same thing?
So what if I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Many influential and successful people have told me that I don't have to have my life all figured out by age 21. They, themselves didn't, and they are some of the most successful people in their professions, and have success in their personal lives as well. These people are my heroes. These people said that if at 21, I only have one plan that I hold fast to, that I am going to end up sorely disappointed...Because life is about having direction, yet knowing how to be flexible. And flexibility is one of my strengths. Happiness to me isn't measured by how close my initial plan turns out. Yet you approach things from a linear progression, whereas I view mine as a spiral progression. I am sorry that because my path was different than yours that it was somehow wasn't good enough for you.
Your sister is fun-loving, smart, beautiful, outgoing, and talented. She is much more than these simple words. Someone that amazing is hard to define, but isn't that the point? To me she is a good hero to have. Heroes who show no weaknesses or struggles aren't really heroes at all. She is heroic because she is strong yet not undefeatable. People, who think they are undefeatable and perfect, normally fall the hardest. People who work themselves from nothing to something have so much to share with the world. Your sister will show the world all she is an all she will become. She is truly an asset to all those around her.
They say that you look to your friends and family for the qualities you wish to have in a romantic relationship. I have seen myself in your sister; this is not to say we are the same person. To say that we are the same would take away from her own story. She is her own person, with her individual achievements, as am I. Your sister will figure out her own path, even if it deviates from the norm. That's what makes life interesting and worthwhile. I will figure out my own path too. The only difference is that she will have your support and I will not.
I used to see a reflection of myself in your eyes. I liked what I saw. That reflection was of love and lifted me up. Somewhere along the way my reflection in your eyes was lost, or changed into something that did not reflect love. I along with your sister viewed you as heroic, but for me you fell as a hero. You, my hero gave up on me, and stopped loving me along the way. The lost love will be found again. For now, that doesn't matter because like your sister, I will find my own fit with or without you.
