Dear Diary... Im Drowning

Dear Diary,
How did i let myself fall into this trap?
I'm swimming in a pool of desire
And I'm about to take another lap

I'm drowning in unwanted emotion
My mind races with panic, as i begin to feel
My hearts getting caught in the commotion

He seems so perfect in every way
God, its gorgeous when that boy smiles
I cant shake this feeling try as i may

What if to him, i dont matter?
Whisper into the silent dark
Heart prepare to shatter

Dear Diary,
His arms were warm as they wrapped around me
So gentle, as if i were a glass figure
When I'm with him i don't feel empty

I'm shaking with fright
As feelings corrupt the balance inside
I'm not in control anymore, he just feels to right

His eyes dig a path in soul
As his body warms mine
Somehow he makes me feel whole

Like I'm gods perfect creation
He speaks such pretty words
As I'm shot into infatuation

Dear Diary,
Do i miss him, or is it the way he makes me feel?
My mind is muddled, a mess of questions
If i were to break, could i heal

I keep telling myself I'm fine
With my hands that shake and sleepless nights
I think i crossed the line

Everything is so confusing
Thoughts and feelings i didn't know i could have
The inner battle i know I'm loosing

I'm falling much to fast
And i cant seem to catch myself
I'm not sure how long i will last

Dear Diary,
I cant get him out of my head
While i lay still in the corrupted dark
Remembering all the things he said

Such perfectly conceived lies
I'm not gorgeous, beautiful or cute
Does he really mean it, or is it part of his perfect disguise

Maybe this is all a sadistic plot
Or maybe hes not lying to me
I'll take a risk and give it a shot

I hope someone will catch me if i fall
Then again, maybe no one will
Like i never mattered at all