My Baby

by MadelineJayde   Nov 18, 2007


And just like that, our baby is gone.
My first little child and I had no choice but to let it go.
I had no other option.
I'm am not old enough to bring up a baby.
It wouldn't be fair on it, or me, or him.
But sometimes I feel guilty.
What if I never get another chance to have a child with the one person that I truly love and adore?
Does he ever feel what I feel? Guilt, Hate, Anger?
Guilty for not even giving this child a chance at life.
Hate for myself for letting it go.
Anger for the fact that it happened in the first place.
I know it was neither mine nor his fault, it was an accident.
Sometimes I wish I did keep it, so that if ever him and I didn't work out for any reason, then I would still have a part of him, I would have a child that belonged to me and him and I would always feel as though I had a part of him.
But I know it wouldn't have been the right thing to do.
I guess the only thing I can do now is put it behind me and try to get on with life.
It's going to be hard, but I can do it.
I'm a strong person and this has only made me stronger.
Him and I can do this together.
Together we can move on and keep living our lives.
I'm sorry baby for not giving you that chance at life, but I did what was best.
What was best for all of us.
I love you.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Jyoti Rawat

    I am so sorry what ever happen with you. I can understand your pain. I also mother of one daughter. I know how would you feel when you loss your child. But life still going on
    tak care, keep smile

  • 17 years ago

    by Kiss My Sass

    The choice was your choice and you can't think about what he/she would have been like. Some people can handle a child at a young age and others can't. it's a choice. It was your decision and it may hurt for a while but when you are older and when you have another child, you will be more ready and it will be better on you.

  • 17 years ago

    by Ch!ld~of~Darkness

    It's hard to say if you made the right choice, but it's the same choice I made, only difference is I didn't tell him until afterwards, But looking back I would have done the same thing again. It's hard but you'll get through, it's sad to think about it, and makes you angry knowing it, but now you're a little more grown up, and that will make you stronger.
    Good poem too, keep up the good work