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by katy   Nov 18, 2007


The one that has my heart,
Forever you shall stay within my thoughts,
Entrapped in my soul,
Held close to my heart,

Our memories kept safely,
My mind going over and over,
What if i had another chance?
Would you still love me?
Why has this happened?
Were we ever meant to be?

I kept u close to my heart,
Friends, shall we ever remain?
Confused as life passes fast,
Straight before my eyes,
I'm standing still,
Everyone is moving,

My soul entwined within you,
Our hearts beating to the same drum,
Our pulses racing together,
Our heads in the same cloud,
Together is where we belong.

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This was a quickie one of mine hope u like :) xxx

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Excellent write! The flow and the structure was superb. I liked your choice of words, you are very talented.

    The 2nd line in the 1st stanza, should be shortened a little so it matches the sylable count of the rest. It kind of messes the flow up a little.

    For example, take it from being this:

    "The one that has my heart,
    Forever you shall stay within my thoughts,
    Entrapped in my soul,
    Held close to my heart,"

    To something like this:

    The one that has my heart,
    Forever within my thoughts,
    Entrapped in my soul,
    Held close to my heart,

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Also, the 1st line in the 3rd stanza, "u" should be changed to "you" it not only makes it look a whole lot better, but it makes the reader feel you are more intelligent and profesional.

    Overall a great write, keep up the good work.

    Peace, Joe

  • 17 years ago

    by Jaqcues

    GREAT poem I Like it keep up the good work!!! ^^

  • 17 years ago

    by neo

    Intriguing

  • 17 years ago

    by Vincent Thornsberry

    Good one. nice display of emotion. good flow. 5/5

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