You COULDN'T Understand

When I'm in my own world, staring into space
Just thinking my own thoughts, with a gormless face
You ask me what is wrong, you say that i look sad
Trust me you wouldn't want to know, my thoughts are really bad
...
You COULDN'T understand, even if with all your strength you tried
This part of me is messed up, that's why 'it' i have to hide
It's stupid and dangerous, but the risk is worth to pay
Even though it doesn't make, my problems go away
...
You see it's an addiction, just like any other drug
But the rush i get is more relief, than i could get from your hug
It's harsh i know I'm sorry yeah, but the truth's what was asked of me
So here it is as I am, like an autobiography
...
When your caught up in the moment, the pain just flies away
But the pain is ten times worse inside, when you see the scars of yesterday
The regret you feel for what you've done, the emotional scars still bleeding
But soon enough the cycle repeats, and again your habit needs feeding
...
It's hidden away, where no one could find
It's uses never, leaving my mind
It's always there, self-consciously spying
Then again so are other thoughts, thoughts of dying
...
So now you know it as it is, no mysteries, secrets or lies
I know it's alot to take in, but there are alot of highs
Basically self harm, saves my life
who'd have thought my hero, could turn out to be a knife?
...
All i hope, is people don't find out
And for my secret not to, be talked about
So heres a promise, not a threat
If you tell Ill kill myself, and on that you could bet

would you believe this is how i told my friend what was going on?? i only showed her up 2 i think it was the 3rd verse but then i was like wtf i might as well spill it all...turns out she went through the same shit!! :) happy endings :)