Comments : Invisible is my wish

  • 16 years ago

    by Beautiful Chaos

    Not a bad start, but your flow is off a bit. I like the emotion and thought behind, you just need to tighten up th elines a bit. For example:

    I wish I were invisible,
    Hidden from the eyes,
    Unperceived by others,
    Strangers passing by.

    JUst as an example of flow. I hope I helped. Keep writing :)

  • 16 years ago

    by Alyssia L K

    I like this poem 2... I feel u on it, at times I wish I could escape to place only I know about. It would help me think bout things and cry as much as I need without bein asked whats wrong..

  • 16 years ago

    by Polaroid

    O MY GOSH!!!!!!!! all time best poem you've ever written, (in my opinion) great great x 1 million greats, lol

    happy holidays
    polaroid