Broken Promise

by darkangel   Nov 19, 2007


You promised you weren't leaving this time,
but now your gone, you broke your promise.

you promised me you wouldn't turn your back
on me, then you turned around and left. you
promised me you would leave it alone but
your so addicted man you just don't understand,

mommy we need you. you gotta let it go so
you can come home, but you gotta do it on
your own,

you promised us all you'd leave it
alone. please keep your promise, don't let the
broken promises go on for long

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Sammerz

    I love this poem it had a lot of emotion into it and like others said it as if your talkin face to face with someone.
    5/5
    Good Job!!!!

  • 16 years ago

    by Jaime

    Normally I would say to add capitals and work on the grammatical issues, but I think that in this case the lack of proper grammar makes you come across a little more childlike. And there is a child in all of us who needs their mother. I'm not sure if you did that on purpose, but good job on that.

    I also think you overdid the repetition a little bit in the last stanza (with the word promise). But that's not too important.

    The most important part of a poem -in my opinion- is the emotion it conveys and how it makes the reader feel. On that note, GREAT job. Your feelings are very clear throughout the entire poem, and also very strong.

    Take care.

  • 16 years ago

    by Jason

    I like this poem. It's almost like me imagining you talking to someone face-to-face as I kept on reading it. In other words, this is a good poem in terms of seeing all 100 percent of your feelings come out.

  • 16 years ago

    by HidinVictim

    This is pretty good, i would love to know the background on this poem please pm me if you don't mind me knowing.

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