Why I Never Answered Your Letter

Crumpled up paper litters my floor -
I just can't concentrate anymore.
Draft upon draft, they just don't seem right;
My mind and hear keep putting up a fight.

Letters blur as another tear falls;
My heart's put up more defensive walls.
Broken and hurt, my mind chooses to hide,
Afraid of what is on the outside.

My mind says give up but my heart can not -
Fighting constantly, I get this a lot.
So I go back to your letter, battling demons unseen -
It feels like so much more than a dream.

Each word seems so distant, but I know it's you -
I just don't know what I should do...
You were a part of me through all those years;
You held my hand through all my fears.

But something changed when you moved away -
You got distant and you didn't know what to say.
I tried to understand, but I couldn't do it,
There was just no way for me to see through it.

Until I moved and I finally understood -
Why you did what you did - you did what you could.
It's hard to break away and leave everything behind;
To realize that there's a new life to find.

With new people and things and so many places -
It's hard to remember all the names and the faces.
It gets jumbled up in your old memories -
Just like the way you used to think about me.

So I honestly tried to write you back,
But the pen seems to hold the words my mind lacks.
I figured, in person, it might be better -
So that's Why I Never Answered Your Letter.