Death Letter.

Dear mom and dad,

I'm sorry I won't be coming home anymore. By the time you read this you'll already know I have passed away. Before I move on I want to tell you the truth. The real story of why I died and the consequences and the guilt I have had to live with these past few months. These will be my very last words to you.

First of all I want you to know that I wasn't forced to drink or threatened to. I can think for myself and make my own decisions. During that time though, it felt as if someone else was deciding for me. Like I had no control over what I did.

I can however tell you who made the decision to start. It was at Lucinda's 15th birthday party. We were all having fun and nothing strange was going on. Then Lucinda went to her basement and brought back a six pack of Budweiser.

I can remember it so clearly. The blue and silver cans all lined up so perfectly. The light reflecting off of it as it hit my eye. Lucinda then gave me a can offering me to drink. Everyone looked unsure about it but Lucinda insisted claiming that it didn't do anything to you and that she had done it countless times before. I know all the warnings you gave me about alcohol and all the consequences that followed, but at the time it just felt so.. So right. Like none of what you had warned me ever existed. So I took a sip. It had an awful taste and burned my throat ever so much as it ran down. I wanted more. I took another sip and then another. Until I had realized that I had drank five cans of beer.

At the time I wasn't thinking clearly and I was also just following the crowd. I didn't want to look like a coward in front of my friends. I know I shouldn't care about what those around me think but none of it seemed important. All I wanted at the time was to be like them. That's how it all started.

Things started to become more vile and grim. Every Friday after school I would go to Lucinda's place and we would drink till our heat content. It started as a small amounts at first, but as we continued the amount of alcohol increased significantly. The drinking increased to once a week, and soon i was doing it every other day. Also i started to lie to you. Telling you that i was working on a project with my friends, while the cold hard truth was that I was out drinking, getting wasted and killing myself slowly

One night Lucinda invited me to a party. Of course there would be drinking involved I just knew it. So I said yes.

Do you remember mom? The time of our final precious moment of us being together cause I will always remember those last moments that we spent together as the most precious memory that i ever have. I asked you about sleeping over at Lucinda's place and not coming home until the following day. You sweetly replied with yes and told me to take care of myself and come home safely . Oh how I miss the smell and taste of your cooking that i will never again taste. Your wonderful voice and your wonderful personality that will always be with me eternally. I wont ever forget our wonderful family with great cosiness that we always have together during dinner time. I love you mother more so than I could ever express in simple words.

It was a Saturday night. Lucinda and I had already gotten ready. I was wear the shirt you gave me on my birthday. The one with the big bold letters streamed across it like vast valley of flowers. "Empowerment". It's what the shirt had told me. I felt none of it though that night. I felt queasy and unsure of what I was about to do. I knew it wasn't too late to turn back and go home, but I didn't.

When we arrived at the party I was immediately bombarded with bottles of beer.I didn't even take three steps into the house and already I was on my second bottle. I wasn't drunk yet. The highest I had ever had was at least 6 or 7 beers tops.

It swung around midnight and it felt like I would die any second. I tried to find my way through the crowd of endless teenagers making out on the couch or getting more wasted then they already were. Finally I had found Lucinda half alive on the bathroom floor. I quickly got her up on my shoulder and scooted out the door. I layed the half alive half dead Lucinda on the grass and called her brother Mike out. I could tell from the way he walked that he was wasted good. I only had five beers but I could tell that I was doing better than Lucinda and Mike.

Mike brought the car by and we all hopped in. I asked him if he was able to drive but all he told me was "Will you shut up already? I'm fine baby face just relax". I placed Lucinda in the back and did her belt up loosely, I didn't realize it at the time but Lucinda was turning awfully blue. I then sat in the passenger seat and didn't put on my seatbelt.

Mike was driving at a fast speed it made everything seem like faint blurs. It wouldn't matter if he was driving the legal speed or not because everything seemed like a blurry at the time. It was really strange. At that moment it felt as if i was flying into nothingness and my mind was leaving me and everything else behind. That's when I realized we had hit a fuel tank. The impact was huge. It happened so fast none of us saw it coming.

I flew out of the windshield into the tank itself. I died on impact. My ribs were broken and I had a an enormously large gash at the side of my head. Lucinda died before we could even hit the tank. She had died of alcohol poisoning. Mike had his neck snapped. He too was not wearing a seatbelt.

None of us would have expected to die before the age of 20. None of us thought about the consequences of our actions. None of us had the chance to a proper farewell.

I felt no pain when I died. All I felt was the urge to fly away from all of this. Start anew. It felt so cleansing. To just leave this world. I couldn't pass on though. Not without saying goodbye and apologizing to those I have hurt dearly.

I'm sorry I got into the car without thinking. The thoughts that were in my head were not my own. They were those of a girl who had suffered from an addiction. Not the little girl you loved and cared for.

I'm sorry that I hurt you both. Do not blame Lucinda for her actions. She too was lured into this cruel game of addiction and found no other way out. Her family will also be mourning for both their losses.

Thank you for teaching me all the values of life. To never take anything for granted and to love those around you. Thank you for not giving up on me and pushing me to do my best in everything that I do.

Don't ever think you have failed as parents because of my reckless decision. You have done nothing wrong but raise me the way that was best fit. Please don't cry over me. Instead fill the void with memories of when I had no addiction and when I was just your little girl carefree and happy.

I am sorry of all the many times I have hurt you. Be it lying or yelling at you I'm truly and deeply sorry. If I could turn back the hands of time I would. Sadly though I cannot. I know that life will not be the same for you both and that I have left a void in your lives, but you must move on and keep me alive in memory and prayer. There are a lot of things that have been left undone and they must stay that way.

I am free now and no longer in pain. I will always love you both more each day.

Love always and forever,
Vienne Frances David

My health homework.