Hmm. I think the flow was off in this one, the actual idea of it was great. But, I'm not too fond of it.

Maybe word it a bit different, or break up the stanzas differently?
I'm not quite sure, or I'd show you what I think.
But, there's just something about it, eh. . .
Maybe lack of emotion?

I wish I could tell you.
Maybe it's a little of everything?

It's not meant to flow, nor is it meant to be emotional. Think of the poem's subject - bumpy journey and becoming distant from a partner.