Such a sad write.. devastating and heart breaking.

"Of circles pushed to square holes
Left Behind where winter will not fall
Buttoned hollowed orbs unfazed
Savior of a doll."

Loved the whole piece but this stanza knocked me off me feet :).. awesome piece.. well done :)

Your writing, is unlike any I have read before. The meaning is not obvious but hidden underneath flawless imagery and amazing vocabulary. I love how this piece was thought provoking and different. The depth of the metaphors were powerful and amazing. The reptition of certain words were effective and flawless. Overall and interesting write. Well done *5/5*

Very good. I was a little worried when I saw how short it was but it doesn't need to be longer. I like how you gave short glimpses of info, it makes the reader think about it more 5/5

Okay, first off, thanks for the honesty. I agree, some of the parts, like the chocolate fish, haha, I dunno where it came from. But, eh. Most of my stuff is like that.

On to yours.

I like it. But I'm not really sure why. It's a hard poem, I guess. When I first finished it, all I could think of was Nikki Giovanni's Quilting the Black-Eyed Pea. Which is actually a compliment in itself cause I adore that poem. ...But... I suppose my biggest issue with it is that... I just don't totally get it. Does it make sense to you?

This was my favorite:
Sidewalk shattered, staggered shoelace
And fell...fell...fell into the blackness
Of Earth
Of circles pushed to square holes

I loved "fell...fell...fell into the blackness"
it caught my eye, and slowed the pace into something which I could visualize.
"Sidewalk shattered, staggered" was beautiful. But I don't understand the real signifigance to the shoelace.

Or maybe...
Hm. I'm starting to grasp it, I think. Although I'm not sure if it's metaphorical or honest, or both.

In that case, though I know my comment might not make sense... I like it. I've read it six times now, and I'll have to go back and look again. I'd be interested to know what you based it off of.
Although, the first line, if I remember correctly, "Snow melted below zero. Below sight" still doesn't make much sense to me.
I'd suggest starting it off with a more concrete entrance. Then let it go off into what it is[or isn't or may[not] be] from there.

Sorry for the length. It was my thought process. Hah.

I don't have as many words as all your other reviewers, so im sorry. but i really loved this peace. amazing... <3

I thought this was amsome, very sad,short but powerful 5/5

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful write. Oh did i mention it was FREAKING WONDERFUL! To much of this poetry on here is a bunch of crap, and its refreshing to read things like this every now and then. You did such a great job with your word choice *again!* and the flow was amazing. such a sad write, but so good at the same time! wonderful and powerful write! Keep it up! :]

Wow, really great poem. short but oozing with emotion

Very strange poem. And that's good. I had to imagine all of it whether I understood it all or not. I enjoyed that little tid bit you had at the end. I particularly enjoyed the sidewalk shattered part. It was unique and fun to picture. For this I think I shall give you aaaaa.....*drum roll* Five. It was truly unique and unlike anything I have read before. I clap for you. :)