A Love That's Void of Emotion

Any title that captures my attention like this one did deserves to be read. It was unique and a poem in itself. Now on to the poem.

1st Stanza.
Wow that first line was very unexpected. I thought it was going to be something cliche like "He looked me in the eyes and I melted" or something like that but "venom" wow that just caught me off guard ...and I liked it :]

2nd Stanza.
This stanza was different. It was as if you were telling a story where I could imagine the scene clearly in my mind. Your choice of words were nice here and refreshing to read.

3rd Stanza.
I loved this stanza! Has to be my fave so far. I liked the first two lines because it described your emotions nicely with the analogy. When you mentioned your desire to find a faith light that was beautitful because if you can find a light behind the darkest soul then that truly defys amazing and pureness.

4th Stanza.
"Should I tempt fate and really see if we survive"
^I just loved this line because it shined from the rest. I believe in taking risk and going for what you want and this line reminded me of that. Don't be scared of the consequences just do it or else you will live your life with a heart drowning in regret.

5th Stanza.
WOW. This ending was unexpected. I thank you for shocking me throughout this poem because I rarely see that on this site. Most of the poems I read are predictable and I can tell how they end but this one oh my it just blew me away.

Well done, I really am glad I read this.
*5/5*

I am like speechless. Man, the emotion in this peice was like a punch in the face. Lol. The metaphors you used && your word chioce were a.m.a.z.i.n.g. I loved every peice of this poem.
My favorite lines-

The corners of his mouth quivered, and in that instant
I thought I would see for the first time, some real emotion:
Anger. Pain. Revulsion. Repulsion. Just something real.

They really stuck out to me. Overall, an amazing write. Great job!
5.5

Amber...

This was... amazing, its something I haven't really seen before. When I was reading the poem... it sort of reminded me of what I did to a guy. Just the relationship was so bleak and it was missing so much... on my part. The ending was a complete shock. You have a lot of talent and thank you very much for your comments:) I will definitely be reading more of your stuff.

5/5 <3

Oh my ... the ending truly was unexpected and blew me away!

I loved how different this poem was. The emotions were real and the questions you asked were thought procoking and held immense amount of meaning. It all flowed flawlessly and I was hooked from beginning to end.

"Was it a ploy? Was he purposely try to confuse me,"
^I think you mean "trying" not "try"

All in all it amazed me. Well done *5/5*
^

As the smoke of the most deadliest fire,
^ It should be "deadly" not "deadliest"

Offering us hope, offering me hope, and in the furthest
^ I know that there wasn't enough room on this line to add in "corner" but it doesn't really work to add it onto the next linee. Try getting rid of one of the words in here to make room? And alsoo, I don't think you should repeat "hope" try using a different word.

Shouting for help. I was shouting for help. I was. I am.
^ I can see what you are tryiing to do here by repeating them but it's not really working, i think it would be more effective if you used a different and stronger word the second time.

Wow, i really liked this. It was so intense and the emotion was oozing out. The metaphors and descriptions worked really well and made the poem intriguing and a joy to read. The flow was good except for a few points like the "corner" linee and i liked all the unique ways of explainign things you came up with. Lovely work. 5/5