Which one is better?

To which do I prefer,
To forever be ignored?
Or be reminded of my flaws
By the pen that is the sword

In one I am invisible
While the other I am a freak
But either way their actions
Make my heart feel emotions so deep

To be severely in pain
But no nurse or doctor there
Or be hit with verbal weapons
And watch you revel in my despair

I only have 2 choices
Between the either and the or
But neither one can I decide
For I have experienced both before.

To never be seen
And never be heard
Or to be seen by the enemy
And forever scared by your words

My decision is limited
Between one of the two
To be mocked by everyone
Or to be ignored by all of you

And which would you decide
If you had to choose between the two
To be mocked or be invisible,
Which road would be harder for you?