And So It Begins

by Erica   Nov 25, 2007


And so it begins
With a crack in the door
A strip of new light
Pours onto the floor

Opening slowly
His blue eyes appear
But its much to cold
To feel any fear

Yet somehow it hurts
As he cuts me so deep
With mouthfuls of pain
I fall back asleep

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Eman D

    Sounded great. The first stanza was simple but u made it beautiful just by describing. 5/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by Common Sense

    With a crack in the door
    I think 'in' should be 'of' because if you say 'a crack in the door' it makes it sound like he's trying to break the door down, and so he slammed a crack into it, lol. Just a suggestion, though.

    But its much to cold
    it's* too*

    HELL YES I'M CORRECTING YOU. Because they could be just a tiny bit better, and it doesn't take that much more effort xD This one is nice and simple, but pretty. Where's 'And so it Ends' ?

  • 16 years ago

    by Fear2love

    It is ok

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