Lyrical Lies

It might just be me personally because my mind gets all twisted and jumbled when I read very descriptive things, BUT I think I understand what's going on. I'm definitely holding myself accountable for getting lost with

"--Colorful voices convinced inner demons once again
between cotton mountains that crumbled beneath the feet..."

I just reread a lot.
But anyways, WOW that is a lot of amazing imagery/descriptions. It's refreshing to read something like this. Thank you for sharing it.

Love the title. It goes with the poem, since it is taken directly from it, but it doesn't give anything away. Props for that!

STANZA ONE:
"Breathe with me, inhale toxic bittersweet medleys
of the gorgeous angelic hues; timid sighs haunt me.
You whisper those lyrical lies, tasty cliches
painting over my misdirected and hopeless grins."

^^I found this stanza absolutely flawless. Literally. Metaphorically, this was beautiful. "Angelic hues" was beautiful. You can tell in this stanza the lies and deceit the person you are speaking of has fed you. You managed to reel me in and hold onto my attention. =)

STANZA TWO:
"And all I asked for was frantic believing
in these words weaved within dreadful silence,
I begged for understanding, pieces of miracles
which would entwine with my bleeding soul."

^I would suggest taking out the "And" at the beginning. The way I was taught was that sentences are not supposed to begin with that word. Also, it does sound better without it. What I got from this, was that you just wanted a sense of understanding from this person. Or, that if they were going to lie, at least make the lies believable.

STANZA THREE:
"--Colorful voices convinced inner demons once again
between cotton mountains that crumbled beneath the feet...
...metaphors hurtfully sung their acrid malediction
while you painted over my rights and wrongs.--"

^I loved the hyphens in this. Usually I don't like hyphens, but in this, they made it a break from the previous topic. Though it still went with the whole piece. The first line went perfectly with the last line "Colorful voices" and "painting". Good job on that.

STANZA FOUR:
"Breathe with me, inhale toxic bittersweet medleys
of those lyrical lies that you whispered near my pillow.
Dazing traces of shimmering illusions will wound us
with deathly caressing and tempting vortexes of emotions."

^I LOVED how the beginning of this was the same as the first stanza, but was not an entire repeat of it. "Vortexes" was an amazing word to use in this.

LAST STANZA:
"--So I swore: I'll break the habits for the last time,
crash them into the cursed rivers of filthy fictions;
so I swore: I won't walk through the mazes of your entity...
...I will just continue breathing with you. "

^FANTASTIC ENDING! It was actually rather sad, because it seemed as though you just gave in, and gave up. But maybe this lie was better than reality? One suggestion. On the third line, capitalize the "s" on "so", which would make it like the first line. Just a suggestion.

Once again, you blow me away with your poetry. This would be why you are on my favorites list =) As always, a pleasure to read.

5/5

Take care and keep writing!
~Lace

Wow, wow!
Brilliant piece. I am honestly amazed with the fact that you can do anything with words. The choice of words here is fantastic and atmosphere that you created is also very creative and powerful, and it makes this poem so compact. All in all, I like everything about this masterpiece.
I really can't describe how much is this beautiful.
Every line has great structure and your choice of combinations of expressions never failed to impress me.
Well done!
You should be really proud on yourself, and keep up!

This is intoxicating. I love the title and "You whisper those lyrical lies, tasty cliches"

Beautiful. 5/5

This piece was so deep Nyell. You know each time I read one of your beautiful pieces of poetry I go into a deep trace and I'm unable to escape it until 5 minutes after i've read your poetry. The power in this is capturing. You really dragged me in from the very start. I loved this dark poem. A beautifully dark piece. Well done. Again. Keep on writing.

~Mel