Not Sure

What do I do anymore...
How do I feel
I want to be loved
I want something real
No matter how hard i try
Or how much I care
I turned away one day
And nothing was there
I shut down every day
I cry every night
Everyone thinks im happy
If only they were right
I have my days where Im ok
Then the days Id rather die
The days I want to laugh
And the days I want to cry
Maybe someone somday will be able
To explain why