Therapy Session - Part 2

In order to search for something we once lost, anything, we must first think about how important it was to us, and if we gain some advantage by having it. We could be talking about glasses or maybe a lucky hat, but in this case I'm talking about your heart. You might be thinking well how could you ever lose something thats so vital to our survival? Something that should mean more to us then anything? That may be true, but it seems to me the one thing we should protect and hold onto most, is the one thing we're so quick to give away.

I for one am not the type of guy to just give my heart away, somebody has to love me enough to steal it even when It's being protected. They have to do whatever it takes to climb the barrier that surrounds my heart, claw with there fingernails over the wall to grab what they believe should belong to them, because I would. I'll admit, like many before me, I have given my heart away without ever fully understanding the absolute stupidity of my actions until it was to late. I jumped at the opportunity to say that I was in love, that I too had tasted the purest flavor of life, when in fact, I never even had my hand on the glass yet. Just because we've smelled the sweet aroma of love, picked up it's scent like a dog and chased it until we could chase no more, does not mean we've tasted it. Many things smell good, like a scented candle or even my aunt's cooking, but you'd know once you bit into it that the taste was far different from what you thought it was going to be based upon smell alone.

Maybe I'm just to old fashioned, maybe wearing my heart on my sleeve isn't the newest style or trend, but for me it's the only way to wear it. I often hear people talk about there weaknesses and what they fear most, well for me my weakness is sometimes caring more then I should, and my fear is falling so hard that I'll never be able to get up again unless her hand is there to help me. The funny thing about that is I've never made somebody a priority that only made me an option, and to be honest I never will. I'm not saying she only makes me an option, not at all, but I think most of us can relate to what I mean.

I can still remember the day I lost my heart, and not only was my heart lost, it was trampled into little pieces and scattered into various locations like Easter eggs. But this hunt was much different, I had to find all of the pieces myself in order to have enough to complete the puzzle of love. I sometimes wonder if all this heartbreak will catch up to me? If by leaving piece after piece of broken heart behind will someday kill me, as I will no longer have enough pieces of the puzzle to clearly see the picture it once was.

I thought I had lost my heart for good, that I'd lost the one thing I should have been protecting all along, and maybe my biggest fear then was never getting it back. But the day I found you was the day I heard my heart beat again, not in my chest, but in yours. The day the pieces of the puzzle fit together better then they ever have, better then they ever will, and to be honest I never want my heart back again. I want you to have my heart and I want it to beat with yours like two drums in unison, for you're my heart and I can't live without you. My heart will forever be lost with yours, but how could you ever be truly lost in a place you'll forever call home.

I love you Baby Girl - Always and Forever xoxo

Anyways

This session is over~