Hourglass Of Life

by Pete   Dec 2, 2007


I've finally had enough
life's a pitiful disgrace
wish to cut my nose off
just to spite my face

Such a waste of time
an embarrassment to all
sandy hourglass of life
about to cease to fall

My Last Will and Testament
are notes to family and friends
such meticulous preparation
ties up all loose ends

Snake-like rope is tied
the noose is set and ready
about to end it all
I stand here firm and steady

On the battered bedside table
the pill bottles sturdily stand
two birds in the bush
are better than one in the hand

My life will not be missed
by anyone at all
pills are popped, chair is kicked
I begin my final fall

The Sleep takes me first
before I begin to choke
I thank the Lord it's over
a life that was a joke

Life tries to slash my soul
yet survives the deepest cuts
I'd follow these perfect steps
if I only had the guts.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Jodie Phillips

    Great poem, sad dark deep and filled with pain though, but flow was great. Loved it

  • 16 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    ....I LOVE this.

    I don't even know what I could say that would give justice to how much I love this piece, and seeing as I'm not usually a fan of suicide or any reference to suicide, that's saying something.

    Okay, here goes.

    1st stanza: Beautiful opening. Very saddening and moving, and beautiful imagery portrayed from the first line.

    2nd stanza: I thought the flow seemed a little shaky here.

    maybe try:

    "Such a waste of time
    embarrassment to all
    sand hourglass of life
    about to cease to fall"

    It just flows better that way, for me.

    3rd and 4th stanza: Incredible. Just incredible. I love the matter of fact way you talked about tying up loose ends, the way the words carried the "just don't give a ****" anymore message.

    5th stanza: Your flow seemed to waver in this stanza, as well. Maybe something along the lines of:

    "On the battered bedside table
    pill bottles sturdily stand
    two birds in the bush
    are better than one in hand"

    Get rid of the two "the's" as I did. They are just fillers really in this stanza, and I don't think you need them there.

    Stanza 6 and 7: These remind me of stanza three and four, and the giving up and not giving a damn again. It adds for a powerful affect on the overall piece that you have repeated these feelings without saying the same words again and making the poem end up cliche towards the end.

    Ending stanza: My favourite of the entire poem.

    "I'd follow these perfect steps
    if I only had the guts. "

    ^^Those lines are amazing, Again something that many people will relate to, I know I can as I used to feel that way a long time ago, and the end is so in your face and hard hitting that it hits the reader like a slap in the face.

    So many suicide/self harm poems end up cliche and a waste of time, but this dear...this is one of the few that are worth reading.

  • 16 years ago

    by June

    A very powerfull write.Life has its struggles and its ups and downs ,but these things are sent to try and if you can get through it you'll be a stronger person,just gotta believe there is light at the end of the tunnel.

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