You are there

by XxToWriteLoveOnHerWristxX   Dec 13, 2007


You are there
Deep in my mind
Crying inside
It is a waste of time
You are my conscience

You are there
Not shaped right
You beat faster
In the starry night
You are my heart

You are there
Controlling me
I listened to you
I should not be
You are my mind

You are there
When Im hurt
You treat me
As if I am dirt
You are my pain

You are now here
I did my best
Bring it on
I am ready for death

this is a poem i wrote about what i think goes through peoples minds when they die. i hope you enjoy it

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Gizmo

    I love the way the last line of each stanza continues on with the next stanza. its unusual, in a good way.

    i like the way you descibed everything prefectally.

    very well written keep it upx

  • 16 years ago

    by Beautiful Forever

    I loved this. It was beautifully written. The flow was great, the words chosen were decent, and the concept was BRILLIANT! 5/5 great job

  • 16 years ago

    by SH3S fiNAllY H3R3 l0V3 U N3NA

    Well, this poem was absolutely amazing. The passion in this was great. It has great flow and it's very well-written. Good job! 5/5<---wish I could give it more.

    .:CiNdY:.

  • 16 years ago

    by Michelle18

    Great poem.. i love how you set it up.. the style was good... i dont see any improvement needing done on this one..nice job.5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by BlueEyedMystery

    Wow, that was very interesting. I liked the topic of the poem. I don't think I've read one about what people think right before they die. I mean I know people talk about it a lot, but I've never read a poem about it, so great job on being unique! I really loved how it flowed and how the lines were short. The rhymes were good, and I liked how you did five lines in a stanza instead of just four. Great job on this poem. I loved it!

    Keep writing!
    Cayce

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