Awuh, playa, that's real schveet. Nice read, great write.

Happy writing,
You'll only get better,
Peace, yo.

I really liked this,
The flow was flawless, and the way you portrayed it was very clear. And I especially like the thought behind.

Very well done,
5/5 Elly.

A new perspective gives new inspiration, very nice

I think this was really really good. :]
i could feel the emotion. .and the
"darkness" so to speak. 5/5. :]

Great job!..I love it..<3

This poem is awesome!!! hehe...really creative and expressive! well done!! xo

It was nice..love it...keep it up

Wow i loved it
it wuz rlly good
:]
5/5

I thought this was really great, i loved it, the style that its written in is amazing, like desceibing it and then saying what it was at the end of each stanza, and the last stanza, was pretty amazing, a well deserved, 5/5

Stephanie Naylor

This was very good.
although im not sure who you are speaking of that you implied was your everything, but it sounded as though you were speaking of depression.
my only thought is to change this stanza
"You are now here
I did my best
Bring it on
I am ready for death"

to

You are now here
I did my best
Bring it on
you are my death

i think it would go better with how you wrote the poem.
just my thoughts
5/5

Pretty good poem you did a good job on this one. I liked it. Poems get better as i read them.
Keep it up and keep trying you'll only get better as you write.
5/5
<33tay

I agree with Lace on this one.. if you change it, the poem will fall nicely in place. It was a really good write, and i've never read anything like it before. you did such a wonderful job with the imagry and flow of this! keep it up! :]

Ok, so at first I was thinking this isn't one of my favorite of hers, but the ending about how you feel about this poem changed everything. Its so true and the message is perfect!

Wow, that was very interesting. I liked the topic of the poem. I don't think I've read one about what people think right before they die. I mean I know people talk about it a lot, but I've never read a poem about it, so great job on being unique! I really loved how it flowed and how the lines were short. The rhymes were good, and I liked how you did five lines in a stanza instead of just four. Great job on this poem. I loved it!

Keep writing!
Cayce

Great poem.. i love how you set it up.. the style was good... i dont see any improvement needing done on this one..nice job.5/5

Well, this poem was absolutely amazing. The passion in this was great. It has great flow and it's very well-written. Good job! 5/5<---wish I could give it more.

.:CiNdY:.

I loved this. It was beautifully written. The flow was great, the words chosen were decent, and the concept was BRILLIANT! 5/5 great job

I love the way the last line of each stanza continues on with the next stanza. its unusual, in a good way.

i like the way you descibed everything prefectally.

very well written keep it upx