There is currently a battle.
But it is not with guns or knives.
It's with the two sides of me.
My rational brain against my romantic heart.
They battle about him.
He was my first love
and my first heart ache.
I don't know what to do.
My brain says "You stupid girl!
He used you!He's a jerk!
Forget about that loser!"
My heart replies"We're in love!
He'll come back to us.We'll be happy.
Everything will be as it was again."
I know their both right.
And I know their both wrong too.
My heart is a fool,anything for love.
My head just doesn't want to hurt again.
"Remember how it was before?
He made us feel ugly,fat and stupid.
Do you want to feel like that again?"
"But did those ever go away?
Or what about before we loved him?
It's always the same,but he made us
strong and we felt truly loved!"
"You watch too many chick flicks!
Always thinking he'll come back better,
that he'll change to the perfect boyfriend!
He'll never come back."
"But...But that's not true!
He'll come back soon!
And then I'll be happy.
We were good for him,
he'll come back."
"No,We were easy for him!
Don't you know yet?
Poor,naive little heart.
You'll always get hurt."
"No,your lying!Your horrible!
Why do you think like that?
We will find love and you'll be happy!
I have hope for him still too."
"HA!That's what you think?
We don't deserve love.
And I hope we never love again.
That's when you take over."
"I make good decisions.
like when we.....OK,no.
What about...no that was bad.
OK,I don't make good decisions."
"Exactly!So what do we do?
We can't fall in love.
We both get destroyed
when that happens."
"You keep thinking that way.
Throw in a couple of "what ifs".
I think she's getting stronger
because of that friend of hers."
"OK,stop thinking of love.
It's hard enough to plant doubts
without you going on about it.
Now we will never get hurt again!"
Now head and heart are joined.
But it's against what I want.
Love will never come to me,to us.
I can only hope I can change
and that this pain leaves soon after.
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I know this is really cheesy and pretty bad.So feel free to say what you really think about it.
