The Angel

by Men   Dec 15, 2007


I'll sit here all alone
Locked up in my room
With this pen I will write a sad poem
Or on my bed I will stare at the moon

Outside my window will be a scene
A view of carnage, with bodies to the sky
Bodies that are cut down by the fiend
The fiend with wings, floating so high

He draws closer to me, within my arms grasp
With my might I build up the courage to ask
The words that escapes are no more than a gasp
Only sounds that are muffled by an empty mask

"If I am free from my torment of sin
Then why is it I cannot find myself within
And when these people stretched me so thin
Why do I want to quit - to give in"

He looks into my eyes,
And with a smile replies

"Child, remember if you are down,
Just know, you are not alone
That other people have found,
A broken heart can be sewn"

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by FridusBlueheaven

    Wow, it's really great poem...
    Very enjoyable read...
    The last stanza is the most powerful one...
    Keep up the good work...
    It's 5/5 of course...

  • 16 years ago

    by The Herald

    Holy
    cow

    as i'm sure others have said, lines 1-4 are kinda bumpy, but they add to the unorthodox rhyme scheme which pulls your theme together better, becuase obiovlsly, there is no "orthodox" way to write these kind of poems. i quiete enjoyed this work of amazing literature that touched my soul, no joke, had shivers after i read it

    i loooved it
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Melpomene

    I really liked this poem. Only one thing threw me off when reading it. Is your rhyme. In some places it was so effective, though you started rhyming the same word together like "sky" & "Sky" Aswel as "Grasp" which threw the flow off. I liked the emotional impact you planted within each line. It was heartfelt and touching. Overall an enjoyable read and even better without the same rhymes. Well done. ~Mel

  • 16 years ago

    by XxXcrystalXcontagiousXxX

    I really thing u should keep wrighting its a great poem great emtion 5/5 keep on keeping on.

  • 16 years ago

    by claire

    Okay first i think in the second line in the fourth verse there should be an "I" in "why is it can not find myself" - like right after the it. that said, i love this poem - even tho some of the ending sort of just went over my head, the first verse was amazing, simple as it was. 5/5!

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