Dying

I'm so afraid of dying...
Yet some days
I don't want to live anymore...

Does that make sense?

I've been so close to death
that I could taste
the bitter cold,

and yet with every passing day
I am reminded

over and over again

that what happened was real,
it wasn't some bad dream...

I want to die, I want it all to end,
but yet again I am so afraid
of the dark,

the nothingness of it all,
because I've been there before...

I didn't know who I was...
I was so lost and disoriented

I had no sense of time
and so....

death seems an eternity