What Hurt The Most

I waited year after year,
Wishing my dad would come see,
The "beautiful" young girl,
I'd grown up to be.

Year after year,
My birthday wish blew,
Still, my dear daddy,
I saw none of you.

I waited and wished,
Hoped and cried,
No one will know,
How I hid behind lies.

Finally my wish came true,
In this very building I'm typing,
I knew who you were instantaneously,
But could you feel the pain I was hiding?

You left and I ran,
To the bathroom I stole...
The tears were like knives,
Scarring my soul.

Years went by,
No more word from you.
I didnt see you again,
Until I heard the news.

Through your lungs to your heart,
Cancer had taken you away in its grasp,
To your head and your brain,
Still I didnt know until it past.

Time had slipped away,
Left nothing for me,
The man I wanted to see,
Left me devastatingly.

How was I to know how sick you had been?
Why hadn't my own mother filled me in?

But the part that hurt the most was when I'd been told.
Not at the beginning,
Not when it was worst,
Not until the funeral,
Did I know.

Never again would I see you.
Never would I hear your voice.
Never would I get to know you.
That's what hurts the most.

This really happened to me. I never had a chance to know my father. I've been dreaming about him lately and I wrote this poem in under five minutes. That's never happened to me before. But I just wanted to share this little piece of my soul with people who could relate, and people who would care. Thanks for your time. Please comment. Thanks.