So the day's got dim and the lights now gone
All because I'm living wrong
I can't explain why i feel this way
or even why I'm here today
why i can smile and laugh and play
all I know is at the end of the day
I'm not the same man, but start to decay
into my weakness that explodes like Bombay.
If you listened to me thoughts you may hear 'em say
"Curse this life and body and day
and no more can i go on breathing today."
So I start with my nails picking away,
maybe Ill even use a razor today.
Make sure it's clean then I put it away,
because I never want to give my self away.
But my soul comes and goes as it does every day.
Solid in the morning then it fades to gray,
and its blurry what I even did today.
Maybe if it ends I can forget my name
fore I've already lost my reason and dignity,
And possibly have gone insane.
I can feel the stress clenching in on my brain,
there's no way anyone else feels the same.
I am at fault. I am to blame.
What I can't stand is when people say
that I'm not the same, that there's a change.
But nothing has been rearranged.
I've always been this way, simple and plain.
My heart, and life, and soul has been slain.
Maybe I'll feel better with this bullet in my head.
Not so scared of what it's like to be dead,
but I don't know what to expect anymore
with all the lies Ive been fed.
I'm through with my wrists, I'm going to start slitting my head.
"If you want it to stop go right to the source,"
so many people have said.
Tried so hard to get all or no blood to my head
Livings not so fun when you feel like a
Zombie, mentally dead.
