My necessity

I hold onto memories that will not subside.
this weakness takes control over me.
i push back without any success.
from this pain i want to be free.

hold my hand and help me please.
you are all i have that keeps me sane
manipulating your words will not last
but it helps conflict the pain

i hurt myself in the processes i take
but i cannot handle reality.
the outcome of my altered vision
is rescuing me from my fatality.

i know what i need to do
but it is so hard and i am not strong
i do not know how to do this
and i cannot admit that i am wrong

i need to try something new
something that i have never done
i need to stop this habit that
makes me continue to run

i face my heart and fight the truth
i ignore my mind and listen to the lies
i just need a break point and
fight this demon inside until it dies

i am the only one that can change myself
but somehow your words heal
i guess because i need someone to love me
even if the feeling is not real