Immature

Immature is what you say
that's all I am
all I'll ever be.
but if you ever knew
what I've been threw
I'm sure you'd understand

I try not to make things real
pretend its all a game
only in fear
that's this is all true.

things that I have done
many people could
never with stand
could never imagine.

at such a young age
innocence taken
bloody Kleenex covers the ground
in my room
letters of death scattered my brain
a best friend covered by depression
a bottle that's always empty
a need for that one last sip
a need for just one last puff.

scars on my arm
remind me its all so real
hated by all
loved by one
story of my life.

a year taken by depression
a year past taken by addiction
a year I'll never get back

taken advantage of-
still frames of your face
burns disgrace in my mind

bruises from your wrath,
a heart darkened by depression
please don't be real.

never ending spiral
of drugs and alcohol
nights I wish never happened
a year I wish I could go back and change.

call me immature, you can.
but please just understand
I really am not
I just need to hide behind
all my silly things
I cannot take any of this seriously
cause when I do
I notice its all
completely true.

**completely random, just needed to get out a lot of frustration and confusion. i don't think it is any good really, just needed to let it all out. Thanks

-Cassidy (: