Emotionless

I'm sitting here on the edge of my bed.
the tears fall down and hit my cuts on my legs.
they burn in despair, my hands are shaking so badly.

in one hand I'm holding a bottle of pills.
there were 40 of them all together.
i took about 30 now, i got 10 left.

I'm holding a razor in the other hand.
I've cut myself about 30 times.
deeper then my broken heart.

the room is spinning, i see pictures over, over.
the time is running out, remember when you told me.
not to be afraid to tell you everything.

your the one who is on my mind.
the one who i fell so in love with.
now I'm lay on the floor.

the razor cut my face when i fell down.
the pills are gone they fallen out of the bottle.
I'm shaking and crying the tears are salty in the cut.

I'm better off not knowing what you actually felt.
what you really where to me was just another guy.
who kept on saying sorry for hurting me.

i was the stupid one to think that you'd change.
after the 4th time i just couldn't do this anymore.
I'm laying here trying not to blackout to finish this.

the door opens with the police and paramedics.
trying to figure out my story, the neighbor called it in.
heard me crying and screaming out your name.

they see my face bleeding and also my legs.
they removed the razor from my hands.
picked up the pills and put them in a plastic bag.

they carried my body out in a body bag.
told my parents that i overdosed on pills.
&& in the end cut myself up.
with written i love you forever.