I remember...*its lengthy..*

I remember..
*..the day that we were to meet, he called at 12:52pm from work, while i was at the mall..*..how i called him back and smiled cause i knew i'd see him today..*..tht i went for lunch at east side marios w/ my friends..*...i called him after we were done eating, and told him to come get me..*..i remember standing there all alone waiting...* and that my left over food tht i was gonna give him, had spilled in my bag...*..i remember tht as i waited...every car tht happened to pass me was black....and tht wen he finally came i had to guess if tht was him..:)..*i remember my heart jumping and racing when i was walkin towards him..askin myself if i looked good and such..* and how he leaned over to open the door...* i remember how i got in and was too shy to look at him..:$..*...he was wearin his brothers shirt..his sunglasses, and kaki pants..proly his oil stained shoes too..buh i dint notice..*..i remember how my hair was messin up cuz of the wind..an he closed the window..*..how he raced over the big bump on bramalea..and asked if my cousin knows he does that..*...that was the first time i heard an saw him laugh in person...*...it was beautiful.
*..we chilled together the rest of the day...and it was great until he had to go to work...ii kissed him goodbye..and stood watching from the door...hoping he'd come back ...*
July7th.2007..we chilled again..some friend issues..but it didnt faze us..*..kissing in the dark on the soccer field..and on the swings at the park..*..sittin together while watchin the movie..an how he'd move away wen he thought fez's parents were coming..*..how he came to drop me home..an luked as if he'd cry...*..how i purposely didnt tell him i had his ring..juss so i'd have a piece of him to hold...*..many days after..we saw eachother...*..my brothers birthday...such a day!..*...our feelings were tested, and were finally revealed..what a night...i told u something happens after zachs birthday...*..sitting on my porch..tlkin about life..walkin to the park..and taking pictures..*eating...sitting...sleeping..we were together*..caribana..a whole day together...ate..danced...had the day together...*..justin timberlake concert...went to toronto..singing songs and holdin hands..*...came home late, rents were mad, yet we dint care...*...going grocery shopping..mac's store..and just hanging out..*..going to 3 stores just to find mangoes and strawberries..*..school started...together still...wednesday mornings we go to school ...always late...yet i dont mind..cause its more time with him..*..4 months...4 great and happy months...yet..*..we've begun to fight...*..i've hurt my love, without knowing myself of the mistakes...*..now i feel..alone..still loved...but alone...*..i kno hes there, but hes changed..and i know its my fault..*..i never meant to make him yell..and cuss...i never wanted him to call me names...*...yet he did, and im still here..*..i shudnt be afraid...but i am..* afraid that one day he'll be gone..and i'll be here...yet again..by myself..*..as our song goes.....you make me better..*..for the past couple days..i cant bring myself to listen to it...*..becuz it makes me flash back to how everytime he was with me in my van...it would come on..*..and how we'd look at eachother..and smile..*..how we'd hold hands...under our jacket..anything..*..how i only sit in the back seat when hes with me...*..and how i cant do anything without thinkin of him..*..today self, a boy came into my work ..a little boy about 5..named Carino...*...i looked at him and thought...Gods giving me a sign...*...and from that time..everytime the door opened..i'd pray it wud be him..*...yet i knew he wudnt..because he can't bare to look at me.
..Now its been 24 hours since i last tlked to him, and im going crazy..*..im missing my baby...*...im sitin here, thinking of the times before..and everything i still want..*..it seems so far..yet too close for comfort...*...i love him..i miss him..i miss our old times...*...i read his letters..but i cant read till the end, b/c my eyes get to watery to see..*..im sorry for what i've caused his heart...because of my stupidness of not watching what i was doing...*..i've messed up my relationship..as i've done to others...*..his parents hate me...and im not allowed to call...*..although i've picked up the fone...but cudnt get past the dial tone..*..i was scared when he didnt call..becuz im thinkin the worse, not tht hes hurt..but our relationship is..*...its the first day..that we've gone without tlkin to eachother..we've seen or tlked in some way shape or form..but ...*..not today.
sigh*...now its sunday...a whole day to wait..until i see my baby tomorrow..*until then, i'll miss him..*