Disgust in trust

Fighting back and forth
with the questions in my head
did i not make myself clear enough
when you held me to your bed
you claim a lot of lies
but i knew the truth that night
because you knew you'd lost the fight
i didn't cry when maybe i should've
i didn't scream when i think i could've
but that didn't mean you can take my
trust and turn it into pure disgust
you robbed me
of everything I've ever known
i spent six months in isolation
in a nightmare all alone
i watched clouds roll by
wishing that it would rain
so maybe the day of sunshine
could feel a glimpse of my pain
i never expected you
to tare down the walls i built
but after the innocence swept away
i thought you'd feel a little guilt
but that task you found
was just too much
so i hope that you have peace
while i cower from a simple touch
i now play pretend
like things don't phase me
but deep inside they
drive me crazy
and all the months
that i have waisted are nothing
compared to the tears i have tasted
and it's such a shame
that i have cried for you
when you deserve nothing
than what you put me through
so you can keep your secrets
you can keep your lies
but one day you'll wake up
and you'll know why
i haunt your dreams
why you cant forget my face
why your conscience is burning
and you'll sense what i taste
your rotting soul
will never let you forget
the night my life
lost life's bet
one day you'll realize
just how much you tore
but when that day arrives
i wont be afraid anymore