Real and Untouched

by PygmyPuff   Dec 24, 2007


We all have choices
in a secret life,
A glimpse of perfection,
Tantalized.

I watch you run your tongue
across your tinted lips
The mosquito makes his rounds,
Awaiting the eclipse.

Take a look at the graffiti walls,
And please inhale the color.
My eyes were only closed
So you would not feel smaller.

I feel my heart racing.
Your eyes shine with desire.
Gather me in your warmth,
Your internal sense of fire.

I ache to take you again
Just to let you know what I feel inside
It's real and untouched,
And I'm ready to confide.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Wow... I love this from the beginning to the end. Whole poem is amazing, creative and greatly written. Original piece, very intense and descriptive.
    My favorite stanza is:

    -We all have choices
    in a secret life,
    A glimpse of perfection,
    Tantalized.-
    ^^
    So beautiful.

    The whole poem has great flow, too.

    Keep up!

  • 16 years ago

    by Nix

    Great poem, very intense and passionate. I don't like rhyming too much because it isn't original but other than that excellent piece. I love the way that you expressed emotions, very captivating.
    Well done, I really enjoyed in this one.

  • 16 years ago

    by applecheeks

    I love the wording its so unique and not like so many others i like "different" and this one is! Good job

  • 16 years ago

    by Alissa

    This was really good. I love your choice of words and the flow. But I couldn't figure out what you were trying to say. Probably really deep if I can't figure it out. But it's amazing. Add more detail and try to have the bridge from one image to another not be so rocky.
    Great job though!

  • 16 years ago

    by RainbowSlider

    I really like the abstractions you have put into this one. My favorite verse was: 'My eyes were only closed So you would not feel smaller.'

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