Waiting for the answer

Watching the clouds roll by

Feeling the breeze caress the back of neck and run through my hair

Looking to the heavens and hoping for devine intervention

Praying to hear an answer to at least one of my many questions

Pleading for a moments peace

Peace of mind

Watching myself do things and react to things

Like watching a horror film

Feeling as if I have no control over what happens next

I am screaming and not a soul can hear me

All they see is the fake smile on my face

All they hear is "everything is fine"

Going through the motions when I all I really want is to sleep and stop feeling

I think of all of the "what if's"

Have I made any "right" decisions?

Are the people in my life happy and content?

Am I doing anything right?

What am I supposed to do next?

How do I find my own happiness?

Will I ever have a moment when everything is clear to me?

Still looking to the sky, watching the clouds, waiting for the answers.