No dad on christmas cutting, crying, drinking

Im sitting here
Lost and confussed
Tonight is the first night i dont want to try
I drank as much as i could to keep u away from me
I cut intell i couldnt feel the pain from you
I though about what i have
I though about what i didnt have
I miss u dad i really do
Nothing has been the same without you
Im suffering so much
Is it even worth living ?
I want to be happy but i cant
As i looked at the other kids they had there dads
For a moment i wish i was them
Its like they have everything
And all i want is you
Dad im really hurt
I need you
Why did u walk out of my life
COuldnt you see u ment everything to me
If only you didnt hit me
If only you didnt do alot
Then maybe you would be here today
You told me you cared
Then please try harder
Because your lill girl loves you so much
Wont u do it for her?
Daddy i tryed to call you
I looked up your number online
I left u a message when i was crying
I was scared but i cant hold back
I just love you
You didnt call me back
you didnt even try
I called to say merry christmas
But like befor i talk to someone that wasnt listen
Now i know your still the same old u
You dont care
You dont love me
I wish it was different