One Last Breath

by Tammie   Dec 27, 2007


'Please don't,' she said as he cut into her beating chest
'I'm sorry, but it must be done,' he replied

Her porcelain face tells a tale of sorrow so beautiful
Painted pastel perfection portrays priceless pain
Could you just imagine the rest of the alphabet?
So we've started this from the beginning again

Her heart beats in pieces now he's arrived
His heart thrives on the echoes of its shatter

The look in his eyes as he perfects his incision
Death is an escape for the demon trapped inside
Fuelled by hate, greed and envy accumulated
From his bruised and broken childhood he had to hide

Screams of agony bounce off walls surrounding
Followed by resonating delirious laughter

Her life filled with promise and meaning
His with never ending fury and false reason
Her life ending tragically, yet she understands
His beginning with realisation and treason

'I love you,' she said with her one last breath
'I love you too,' he said as he took it away.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Excuse my one mistake I made in that comment. =/

    I ment

    I don't see too many poets these days using alliteration expecially thoughout a whole |line| and that I ADORED.

    Sorry once again.

  • 16 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Painted pastel perfection portrays priceless pain
    OH MY. The alliteration in that was friggen fantastic. @$%#$^% I can't say how much I loved that. I don't see too many poets these days using alliteration expecially thoughout a whole poem and that I ADORED.

    'Please don't,' she said as he cut into her beating chest
    'I'm sorry, but it must be done,' he replied

    Now these two lines, Grr. Loved Them! Something so simple yet they seemed to have a dark tone to them which swept over my mind whilst reading it. Can't express my love for them lines. I really can't no matter how hard I try.

    I enjoyed this entire piece because of the dark atmosphere you portrayed. It was vivid and stunning though at the same time cruel and demoned like.

    The last lines were simple yet effective I liked the feeling of sadistic love they portrayed.

    An enjoyable read you have yet again created. Dark poetry definitly interests me and if you pull it off well you have me hooked. You did just that so well done. 5/5 ~Mel

  • 16 years ago

    by End Of Eternity

    'I love you,' she said with her one last breath
    'I love you too,' he said as he took it away

    just love such poems...where every reader could come out with different feelings and experience. its like leaving someone of the edge of cliff and then asking them to complete the dream.

    beautiful poem.

    all the best and take care

  • 16 years ago

    by David

    Gosh this was intense! dark and the ending, hurtful. well described and the lifelike to it was kinda scary. hope your ok.

    5/5 David

  • 16 years ago

    by StonedGooberz

    Ooooh shivers, that made my spine tingle 5/5

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