Do you still love him?

by Spoken Silence   Dec 27, 2007


Do you still love him, as he lays upon another?
As you sit at home with his dinner cold-
All dressed up waiting;
Hoping he is alright.
After all the missed calls you make; you fall asleep.
Do you still love him?

Once you wake, he's beside you,
Smile on his face; with the lips of another on his.
The stains of love hidden beneath his shirt.
You're eyes are dry as you cook his breakfast.
And he doesn't kiss you like he used to.
Do you still love him?

His work trips last for longer,
His breath smells of scotch.,
His bags were never packed,
His love for you was never wrong.
His lust for another took him over
For man only has one weakness-
And that weakness is for another.

    report violation
0


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Tiffany

    Wow. i loved the flow of the poem, and i love how it was almost calming, although it was abt something used to provoke anger. i really liked it. awesome job!!

  • 16 years ago

    by ABake

    A beautiful poem, the story behind it was great and really makes you realize just how far you will go for love. I like you way of dscribing things and you painted a great picture in my mind.

    In the first line of stanza 1 I think that the poem would flow better if the comma wasn't there it kind of breaks the poem. If that makes sense to you.

    Another thing, you get going into a great line and then it is cut short without any describing words and goes to the next one, where I see this at is >>

    All dressed up waiting;
    Hoping he is alright.

    VV
    All dressed up waiting patiently; Hoping he is alright

    Not only does the extra word make the overall poem sound better but it can also allow the reader to relate to a time where they felt this way. Also, your punctuation is great and has a HUGE effect on your work. Just make sure you keep it interesting. The only other thing I can truly see wrong is you use his a lot in the last stanza, try finding antonyms for that word.

    Great way to end the poem, I feel that it summed it up perfectly. A beautiful poem hun :]]

    Amber :]]

More Poems By Spoken Silence