The Anathema of the World

An interesting write for me, your work never ceases to amaze me. The flow was good, but could of been better I felt. I liked your choice of words and how you portraited such great imagery through out. I didn't like the structure of this poem however, the stanzas where of all different lengths.

I also noticed that in a lot of your poems you don't use puncuation through out. Using puncuation will not only help the reader to know when to pause or stop, but it will also help the overall flow of the poem.

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This world is a dark abyss with shades of gray and white
We point fingers and guns at one another
But we are so afraid to die

^^The imagery in this first stanza starts the poem off very well. It made, me want to continue reading and see what the rest of the poem was all about.

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In our depression we cry alone and we blame the world
We seek vengeance deep within our hearts
And find it hard to forgive

^^This stanza, was briliant. It shows how many people truly think and feel towards life in general.

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We are the anathema of this world
For all other life
We bring death
Our cold hearts see no boundaries

^^Again, another well thought out stanza that shows just how much life in general is over looked. We seek to create, yet in the process we destroy.

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Our societies are corrupted by selfishness and greed
We destroy God's creations to build our own
As if we were Gods ourselves

^^Excactly what I just mentioned above, this stanza shows just that. We destroy to make, and in the process we kill life. Instead of killing life, we should find ways to help keep it, but all-in-all I think that will never happen at least not for a very long time.

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Everyday we bring death and suffering
To the world
To everything
We are the anathema of this world

^^I like this stanza, for it really hits home for me. However, I think it would be better if you take line two and three and combine them to make one line, like this: "To the world, to everything"

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The day we all die
Is the day the world survives

^^What a great ending to this poem. It really shows how humans ultimitly kills the rest of the world, and by doing so, Humans won't be able to no longer live here for it won't be safe anymore (ages and ages away, but it will eventually happen)

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Overall a wonderful write, keep up the great work.

Peace, Joe

Wow. I loved the last two lines. They're very powerful and emotional. This poem caused me to think (which can be dangerous....). It was very good!

Powerful and thought provoking!

DANG! that was great. Very true. our world today is screwed up. And we all continue to ruin it. ugh, we will never learn it seems.
The ending was magnificent! so creative!
5/5

Totally luv it; keep up da good work!