Heart to Heart

Part 1:

I'm standing in a corner,
Far away from you,
Sitting with my knees in my arms,
Looking at you and wondering,
Do we even have anything in common anymore?
I know he does'nt understand me,
Even though he tries,
But were not the same as we used to be,
It's like we were one whole,
And now were two halfs,
It frightens me,
But theres nothing I can do,
He's changing,
And leaving me behind,
I'll never change,
And he does'nt seem to mind,
I guess I wonder if he even notices,
Or if that was just a one time thing that's over now,
Something he only does when he thinks I'm over weight,
Then I remember what got me here,
It was another fight,
Our fights are endless these days,
By the end,
All we do is sit and stare at each other,
Instead of love,
Anger and hatred fills me,
It gets too confusing,
My hair falls on my face,
And tears stream down my eyes,
But he does'nt feel me,
Does'nt understand me,
I keep wondering what the point is?
Why were together,
This is'nt how things are supposed to be,
Were we too young?
Have we grown too far apart?
I thank god we dont have kids,
I wouldnt want them to be dragged into this,
Wouldnt want them to suffer what we went through as kids,
Is that whats made us this way?
Are we repeating what we saw as children?
Didnt we always promise each other we'd never become like our parents?
So many promises,
Broken promises,
A promise to change and be better,
A promise to never be like our parents,
A promise to understand each other,
A promise to never leave each other,
A promise to have faith in each other,
A promise to keep hope,
And a promise to love each other no matter what,
Maybe it isnt possible,
Its gone so bad,
I dont know if its even possible to save,
Or if its even worth it,
Still in a corner,
These are my thoughts,
I wonder whats going through his mind,
Does he care?
Hes just standing there,
Looking at me,
As usual like I was the one who was wrong?
Its become a custom,
A mouse and cat game,
I guess I'll never know,
Just sit here and wonder,
As more tears run down my cheeks.

Part 2:

I'm standing in the shadows,
Eyes luminous with fear,
Screaming on the insides,
Wanting to burst into flames,
Trying my best to show her,
That I still understand,
The girl I met two years ago,
The girl I fell in love with,
I'm trying to fight this monster inside,
Trying not to change,
Her love is my only weapon,
Her love is my only shield,
My tears and stares dont try to make her feel guilty,
Like the one who is wrong,
I only cry because I feel,
Scared of loosing her face,
Her soul,
Her smile,
Her love and care,
I cry because I fear the change,
Thats tearing me into a beast,
I want to be the brave knight,
That saves her from the beast,
I want her to know that I will always love her,
And never leave her behind,
I hate who I am,
I hate what I do,
I hate it when I hurt you,
But her love is the only hope,
I cant blame her when she says,
She hates me,
She hates what I do,
My heart is overburdened by fear,
Overshadowed by the darkness,
Thats taking over me,
I never wanted to be my father,
Hell, I used to be scared,
All I need is her hand,
To pick me up from the dark abyss,
The abyss of this fear,
I need to stand on my feet again,
I dont know whats going to happen tomorrow,
But I know that I have hurt her enough,
I want to stop this heartache,
I want to make her smile,
I dont know if she can feel the fear,
Or whats going on inside,
Sorry isnt enough to make up for it,
For all what I have done,
But when she gave me that ring I knew,
How much I was in love with her,
I dont want to repeat our childhood nightmares,
I dont want to slip into the abyss of fear,
I know we didnt make a mistake,
When I told her I loved her,
And she said the same,
I know that every moment passes,
A moment of happiness,
Or a moment of grief,
I know that I want to spend it with her,
In our garden,
In our Eden,
I dont want to break more promises,
I really want to change,
Because I know that anything is possible,
Thats the first thing I said,
When we talked that day for hours and hours,
And I knew that that was the day,
I dont want us to fight again,
I know its my mistake,
I just want to know what to do,
To save this sacred bond,
We laughed together,
Cried together,
I wonder if she knows that all this,
Is on my mind right now,
She looks so sad in that corner,
Sitting with those teary eyes,
God, I want to go closer to her,
Wipe away those tears,
Make her smile again,
And live with her in peace!

Part 3:

It's so quiet now,
You could hear a pin drop,
It's the calm before the storm,
Only I cant stand another storm,
I remember the days we used to talk about our future,
What we wanted to be,
Where we wanted to live,
How many kids we wanted,
What we would name them,
Oh god... tears come rushing down my eyes again,
I would give my life for him,
And I doubt he'd appreciate it,
Would he care if I died?
Would he notice if I wast there tomorrow when he woke up?
Would he ever know how much I loved him?
Would he care?
More and more tears blur my sight,
I wish for a knife to my heart,
A blade to cut into my chest and relive me of this pain,
If I rush out now,
Would he stop me?
Or would he let me go?
Do I have the guts?
I cant take it anymore,
Just get up and go,
He probably wont stop me,
Wont think twice about letting me go,
Go now,
Before you lose your nerve!
He doesnt care,
Wont care,
If he did he would have never hurt me this badly!
I slowly get up,
My face red and tears still running down it,
My hair all messy,
My nose stuffy,
I slowly start walking to the door,
I'm leaving my hand is on the door,
Thats it,
Its finally going to be over,
I go to turn the knob,
And turn around to take one last look,
A last look at what could have been,
A last look at what once was,
More tears,
One last look,
A last scream,
My eyes meet his,
And I know I'm lost,
He doesnt hear my scream,
Theres nothing left,
My last look,
It says goodbye,
I always loved you,
And always will.

Part 4:

Not only have I made a mistake,
I'm a sinner,
I made you cry,
The sickness inside me is killing my brain,
We still have hope,
And I want to change,
We still have a future,
A house,
A car,
And a life with kids,
3 kids I say, and you say 4,
If I woke up, one day,
Without you by my side,
I'd follow you in a heartbeat,
For youre all I love,
If one day I dont see your pretty face,
My world goes sad,
And everything tastes bad,
If u ever try to hurt yourself,
I'll be there,
If you fall,
I catch you and hold you tight,
I wont let go and thats a promise,
I shall never break,
I was blind before,
Blurred by some enemies that called themselves friends,
But tonight her I am,
Confessing,
That everything I did was wrong,
Indeed I will stop you,
I won't let you go,
If you try to go through that door,
I'll follow you,
Hold you like a sword holds its scabbard,
I do hear your screams and they are the songs,
The sad songs that I hear and make me cry,
Somehow I'll make you see,
How I understand you,
Somehow I'll make you feel,
That I'm right here with you,
And come to you and wipe away your tears,
My pretty Annalisa.