Never Enough (letter to my mother)

I have nothing more to give than my heart, if that's not enough for you, then Im sorry but that means I'm not enough"

I've always given you my best

Or at least always tried

In return, its criticism

Or what Im doing wrong

Why am I just never enough?

Why cant you just be proud of me?

But I guess for you

Its better to be screw up

Rather than who I really am,

Its better to act helpless

Than to be this heartless cruel person

You claim to see,

I feel so helpless

But all the while empowered,

That you feel so intimidated,

So resentful that I have my own thoughts

That you feel you have to tear me down

And make me feel worthless

Why cant you accept the path

I want rather than convenience

Why do you want me to settle for less

When you know damn well

I could one day rule a nation

Or at least make things

Better for you?

Why cant you see all this is for you?

It breaks my heart,

It tears me up inside

When I feel I dont matter to you

That others matter more than me

It absolutely makes me sick

That I even question myself

And what I have and want

Just to accommodate for what

Youd approve of

Well I have news for you

Im done having a conscience

Done feeling sorry for you

Im done hating myself because

I cant be the daughter you always wanted

Im not giving you my best anymore

Im giving myself MY best now

So hopefully one day youll see

Who you missed out on

Who you couldnt see all these years

Who you loved less than him

Im determined to leave you

To forgive you but not forget you

Im determined to love you

More than anyone else

And who knows,

Maybe one day youll finally see

Who I really am

And just accept me for me