Convention Leads To Deceit

I convince myself that it's your fault
but I have only myself to blame.
I say that it's what I wanted
and that it deserves to be this way.
I convince myself that you still care
but I don't blame you that you don't.
I say that it will get better
although I know it won't.
I convince myself that I'm OK
but I know I'm not alright.
I say that I'm not hurt
because I'm numb inside.
I convince myself that it's not real
as if I'm living in a dream.
I say that it will end tonight
with no more hate to breed.
I convince myself that I'll move on
but I'm concreted in this place
where bandages cover up the scars
that time can not erase.
I convince myself that you're the one
and I let you get away.
I convince myself what I can
but convention leads to deceit.