Iron Undies

The Iron Undies

Another day at Wentworth high,
With bullies and the such.
Suffering nasty wedgies,
That would surely hurt my crutch.

I went home that afternoon,
My mood feeling black.
That last wedgie for today,
Had made my undies snap.

I set off to Target,
To by a pair of jocks.
But the only thing they stocked there,
Was a pair of socks.

I was just dreading tomorrow,
My undies, I lacked.
If I walked in the schoolyard,
I surely would be dacked.

I walked down the street,
My mood feeling glum.
I stopped by the railway tracks,
Challenged by a bum.

He asked for some change,
I gestured; no, oh so kind.
He offered a gift in return,
A thought had come to mind.

A pair of iron undies,
I voiced my thought aloud.
The bullies would not bother me,
I'd walk freely through the crowd.

I set off to school,
Iron undies equipped.
I walked through the school gates
In a puddle I slipped.

All covered in mud,
I climbed to my feet.
I swiveled around,
Confronted by Big Pete.

I let out a gasp,
HE WAS 7 FEET TALL!
Everyone knew,
He was the meanest bully of all.

He was bulky and hairy,
He was smelly and dirty.
He was so colossal,
He could pass to be thirty.

Pete said, "You wanna fight me?"
I said, Bring it on".
The whole playground in unison gasped,
I stared at him dead-on.

The crowd gathered round us,
We stood face to chest.
This fight surely would be,
My first and final test.

He lunged for my undies,
A predictable first move.
I ducked around and dacked him,
I had nothing to lose.

The crowd around us laughed,
Pete roared about in rage.
He pulled up his pants, and danced about,
Like a gorilla in a cage.

He went for the super wedgie,
A killer bully tactic.
He had the fat and the smell,
But the speed, he new he lacked it.

I dodged the attack, tripped on a stone,
I fell heavily on the ground,
Pete swung around and kicked me,
My back made a clicking sound.

I turned over in agony,
Pete came to kick me again.
I rolled away just in time,
And then.........

I grabbed hold of Pete's foot,
I took it for a travel.
I twisted his leg round and round,
He then promptly hit the gravel.

The earth around us shook,
Pete looked very dazed,
I grabbed his undies and pulled them high,
Everyone looked amazed.

A huge cheer filled the school,
Big Pete was defeated.
Pete jumped up and gave a dirty look,
Out the school gates he fleeted.

I was a hero at Wentworth high,
One my peers admired.
There were no more wedgies given.
I had all the undies I desired.

By ~Squiggly~

NOTE: i was only 11 when i wrote this, so please dont go to hard on me :-]