Only you know

Why do our lips drip with such vile, bitter words like that of an old, unopened bottle of cheap wine, fermented, yet bitter like gall. Why do we stab one another with poisonous, venomous words like that of an old serpent that strikes when you least expect it. Why do our hearts break like an old, weathered branch when the ones we love cut us down and toss us to the fire of the ways of the world. Why do our eyes cry so many tears that sting our eyes as we try to hold back the pain and not let it show when the lies and the false accusations hit you like a ton of bricks.
How are we supposed pick up the pieces of the scattered jigsaw of life that we try to put together with the people in our lives. People most close to us, people who are supposed to lift us up and carry us when were too weak to take another step. How? do we? find the anecdote to the? poison injected into our memory, , into the core of who we are, into our hearts? the one we give away to those that poison us. How do we find healing when we feel broken beyond repair. When the hurt has seeped into the very roots of who we are.
Why do we assume that we know more about people then they know about themselves. Why do we put labels on people and over analyze every situation. Why do we lock out the ones who care the most, pull the blinds and latch every deadbolt to the thoughts that consume us, to the circumstances that weigh heavy, to the pain that has grown like a cancer and attached itself to every artery of who we are.
I will be the first to say I don't understand life and all of the mechanisms of how its supposed to work. Are we here to try to figure it out? Are we supposed to know all the answers? I highly doubt that. Can we make a difference or do we just have to wallow in our own self pity, knowing there is a way out of the deep end yet never swimming to the ledge to get out. We are not in control. We obviously didnt bring ourselves into this world and it is not us that will take ourselves out. The way we were made is such an intricate process, there is no way to describe it except to use the word MIRACLE. How our hearts beat continually and yet we dont have to do anything except breathe to keep it going and yet breathing in of itself is a miracle, involuntary, we breathe life every micro second of our existence. I could go on forever, yet I think you get the picture. Sure, you can believe what you want, you dont have to believe anything at all. Life is all about free will isn't it. You have the free will to take the love that God has put in your life or disregard it as a mistake and cast it away. You have the free will to have joy even when your heart is telling you to curse God because things arent going exactly as you planned. You have the free will to laugh with family and make beautiful memories or isolate yourself becoming more and more withdrawn and comfortable with being alone. You have the free will to make choices in your life. Which choices will you make Only you know the answer to that question.