I try and try

I try and I try
But seems I end up asking why?
Sometimes find myself substituting the truth for a lie
No where to turn in the intersection of my mind
The feelings, the thoughts, they all intertwine
They are malignant, not benign.

Running in circles, there is no where to go
Keeping it all undercover as I try to lay low
Wearing a disguise so my true feelings wont show
Its making me mad theyll throw me in a cell
If I cant get it under control it will be my farewell
Im drowning in the tidal wave being swallowed by the swell.

My heart is at war, my souls drawing the sword
The price ill have to pay, is more than I can afford
My flesh is screaming do it, but my spirits calling the Lord
The blood from my wounds is making me weak
I am the offering on the alter, upon the mountain peak
Satans overshadowing the discretion that I seek.

Complicated situation, no one knows that I am lost
Ive tried to share the devastation but I cant seem to count the cost
I forgot to read the danger sign near the ravine that I have crossed
And now it seems Im in so far, the valleys closing in
Im frantically searching for Christ who used to be within
To save me from the hands of my choking sin.

Will you take my hand and help me catch my breath
Or else this tug of war Im struggling with will surely be my death
My thoughts, my words, the things I say are all part of lifes test
Poisoning my veins with the emotional influence
Not surveying the total outcome of the final consequence
I know what I want but sometimes my voice of reasoning doesnt
Make sense

Stop it, this madness I cant take it no more
I have to sign a treaty and put and end to the flesh thats at war
Because I dont want to face the judgment that I will someday endure
I have to make a decision I cannot keep going this way
It scares me to death because from you Lord I do not want to stray