My depression

It took over everything I was
I am not myself
I feel as though everything I do is a fight
I just want to see the light
just to get away from this life
my best friend is the knife
nothing is alright
oh I felt like this for too long
my smiles and laughs are gone
I can not just go on
to get people away I have to lie
I am not scared to die
I am scared of what will happen after that
I can not think straight anymore
My mind and body is just sore
I have made this plan for a long time
while pretending I am fine
but I just cant get the guts to go through with it
welcome to my life, my feeling, my depression