What is wrong with me?!
Is the question Ive been asking myself lately
Why I am being so unlike myself?
Thats another
Things have been happening that I was always curious about,
I got answers to the many questions in my head that I would never ask out loud.
But Im not sure that I actually want them now
My mind at this time is clear on one thing but blurry on another
So I still cant see how, things have actually changed.
I let something be put into action that I just wish remained
In one of my many fantasy about life but Dang!
Oh how real it is to me now, I cant escape from it if I knew I could, even if I knew how.
Ive always thought of myself as strong
I dont know anymore, because Ie been overpowered by something foreign to me. Something I was always taught to be wrong
But Im not going against those teachings
Because I believe so much in them dose that make me more confusing?
Not really
Ive been yarning to stop it all
But the outside is taking over and back into the trap I fall
With no complaints
What a shame, what a shame, I should have never started to play these games
Now I have lost control, and become a willing pawn in a pool of an emotional rupture of pleasure and pain
Its something I cant help anymore, it just comes natural to me
I enjoy it, and so I punish myself for it mentally
My thoughts are focus and distracted on it
And it kind of makes me want to give in a little bit more
But I dont, I wont, I cant allow this to take over and concur me
Therefore I will attempt to stop it all over again, but in the end I will accept defeat
I like this feeling and I want it to continue, no matter how much I no I need it to end
But I shall do my best to try and live for now in sin
Cry, I will when it all comes to head
Ill suffer harder because I know in the beginning what was said
