Thoughts of the Day

by reJoyce   Jan 4, 2008


Today I noticed a change in you
And it made me really sad,
It made me think of the things I've always wanted to say
But just never have.

I thought about our friendship
And how it has started to fade
I thought about how I admire you
But now I'm so afraid.

I've wished that we were closer
And could talk about anything
But I sense a slight distrust in me
And if friendship is all I bring.

I want to reassure you
That I have no further intent
But I care so much and do not know
What to say without your consent.

I'm not your father and I'm not your keeper
But your life I do take concern
Please don't let this upset you it's just
This flame is starting to burn.

I don't know how to express my feelings
And am probably sounding judgmental
I'm really bad at expressing my feelings
And often make "mountains out of molehills."

I just want you to know you're beautiful
And not like anyone else
Most importantly though, I want you to know
It's your innocence that makes you Chels.

So here's to loss of emotional control
And crying which I rarely see through,
I'll bashfully admit I lost hold of a tear
When degrading words aroused excitement in you...

Well maybe I'm too oversensitive
With an overdramatic tone
Or maybe I'm too apprehensive
And should just mind my own.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by ilikepurple222

    I really liked this poem. it was pretty sweet. perhaps because it came from one of my best friends written about my best friend. haha but i thought it was really good.

  • 16 years ago

    by Poetic Ninja aka Papachopchop

    I see no problems in this piece and I think you are ready to give it to your friend ;)

  • 16 years ago

    by Dawnie

    That speaks to me. i like it.

  • 16 years ago

    by Void

    Alright. Well the friend in me, really wants you to keep it as is, because nothing is better than words that are unpolished and directly from the heart.
    However, the writer in me has always been more prominent than the friend. (Which is ashame sometimes). I can't seem to leave this be, without telling you how I might have changed it if it were my own. Most of the things I have re-worded, are most likely just to make it flow better or read smoother.

    Today I noticed a change in you
    And it made me really sad
    **It made me think of the things I've always wanted to say
    But just never have

    **I love the meaning in this line (the line that is also starred up there ^^) but it's just so long. How about:

    Today I noticed a change in you
    And it made me really sad
    Made me think of memories,
    The things I left unsaid.

    It's a little simpler... You dont' have to like it.

    In these next two stanza's I'm not going to re-word anything, because they flow well enough. -And I really do hope you realize the importance of your own sincere words.
    However, what I am going to suggest, is decide how important the word 'and' really is. When it comes to poetry, you don't need those connection words all the time. On average, they're normally used to add a syllable so that the writer can keep his/her flow smooth. If you agree that sometimes, 'and' is not necissary, read your lines without 'and' in the beginning- to test how it sounds without it. If you like how it sounds, remove it. If you don't, keep them there. :)

    I think that's all I'm going to say though. I think your friend will (or atleast Should) appreciate it. Well done and Good luck. :)

  • 16 years ago

    by SpEcIaLmE

    Thats really good i luv the emotion and it flows really well
    i think your friend will love it :)
    but if i could suggest maybe changing the word "sad" in the 2nd line 2 maybe upset cuz i think it needs a 2 syllable word or something there, it just sounds like it just stops there when reading it
    great work
    5/5

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