Your Best Kept Secret and Your Biggest Mistake

I ripped myself apart from my spine to my heart,
Hoping that you would always be here to save me,
But the actions I took were wrong from the start,
And now that I`ve hit the ground, I can finally see.
I Had my head in the clouds for far too long,
Living off of empty promises and broken down dreams,
I held my composure, stood up tall and strong;
Sewing the rips and tears catching along my seams.
[I almost ran out of thread just a time or two,
Trying to repair the cuts to my heart that were made by you,
They were deep, cut right down to the bone,
All because you showed me what it felt like to be alone.]

The bottle covered all of the mistakes you committed with me,
Because according to you, "no one in their right mind would",
And you played those words like perfect chords to my frailty,
Hoping that they would cover your bloody tracks like they should.
But a time or two I walked down our paths on my own,
Reliving the moments when you would hold me into you,
And I cursed at the tears that would fall when I woke up alone;
Praying that one day, in your sobriety, our promises would be true.
[But you kept me your best kept secret and your biggest mistake,
Never putting a second thought to the rest of my life at stake,
Holding my hand, you looked into my eyes and promised to catch me;
And when I fell down off of the edge, you had better places to be.]

-Jenna Elphick
January 3, 2008