Vigilance is Nothing

The telephone rings, look who it is.
What an unpleasant surprise
Maybe she's calling to say sorry? Doubt it.
Its time to turn the table, ignorance can be amusing
Sweet revenge, what a blessing

Maybe this is not the thing I Should do
But it feels so good thinking of you
Miserable as me
My heart cries out, "Do it, Do it now."
My Mind says no, this is not who I am
But O God how many tears I've shed
In your wake, at your pleasure.

I Hope I never have to see your face again
Not because I hate you, I promise, I don't.
Not because of anger, or vengeance.
Not because of regret, trust me.
It's because I don't want to love you again.

I stand hesitant, doubtful
"You should have done it a long time ago"
I know, I've heard those words before.
The same phrase sounding in my mind
Should I forgive or should I go
Some questions just can't be answered

After something like this, who wouldn't?
Pick up the phone and say goodbye
Never have to hear that pretty voice again
Blue eyes with so much to hide
Your nothing but a fake, improper words thats never left my lips
God even I'm amused at my voice

O you were just so perfect
Half a year without dispute
The recipe for an eternity
The tradition changed for the best

The telephone rings, look who it is.
What an unpleasant surprise
Maybe shes calling to say sorry? Maybe
With my heart controlling my mind, I take a shot at the darkness
This is careless, but what does vigilance stand in the face of love?
How dare I say,
Yes sweetheart, I still love you
And how again I am swept away, into a sea of mislaid
Im surely lost now

Taken in by someone I love, but should hate.
With everything I am I try to say no
And how again I am swept away
How will I ever make it out now

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I wrote this a couple months ago.....This is probably one of the most emotion filled poems I've wrote, having the most to do with a real situation.