Interesting poem. You created great imagery in it with vivid and clear descriptions. It is short but it has intense tones. You should maybe use some metaphors and make this poem more complex because that would give greater inner power and beauty to the whole piece.
Nice job, but it could be better.

I really liked this poem.
The flow was great.
I think this had great imagery.
xx
Taegan Emily

Vampires huh?Interesting...again very short but it was pleasantly different.5/5

<3Amber

Unlike the first piece, this one seemed to have a satisfactorily written beginning and middle, and a more effective and (abrupt) end. I didn't think it was your best; however you did use imagery well in some respects. To improve, you could use some punctuation marks to reinforce the power of your lines. Also, refrain from using forms of slang as they tend to taint the written quality of the piece.

All around, it was a well attempted piece.